My sorry situation is lucky for you, though, for once–I made you a Spotify playlist of my 25 favorite songs of the year (minus Nos. 17 and 8, which are tragically unavailable on the service)! AND, for those of you not on Spotify, I made you a downloadable mp3 mix (which contains all 25 songs, in descending order)! Yayyyyy MIXES! …Jesus, I really have become a monster. Maybe it’s the existential anxiety from knowing I’ve already used up nearly a quarter century of my life. SOMANYMIXESSOLITTLETIoh god I’m so sorry. Just roll the list already.

Archipel-a-gogo!’s Top 25 Songs of 2011:

25. “Alsatian Darn” – Panda Bear

24. “Seekir” – Zola Jesus

23. “Be Your Bro” – Those Darlins

22. “GB City” – Bass Drum of Death

21. “Cruel” – St. Vincent

20. “Bizness” – tUnE-yArDs

19. “Midnight City” – M83

18. “Whirring” – The Joy Formidable

17. “Booty City” – Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears

16. “Killin’ the Vibe (ft. Panda Bear, Dent May)” – Ducktails

15. “Please Ask For Help” – Telekinesis!

14. “Sim Sala Bim” – Fleet Foxes

13. “Vomit” – Girls

12. “Lost in My Mind” – The Head and the Heart

11. “No Church in the Wild (ft. Frank Ocean)” – Kanye West, Jay-Z

10. “I Miss You” – Beyoncé, as performed by songwriter Frank Ocean

9. “Fall Creek Boys Choir” – Justin Vernon & James Blake

8. “212 (ft. Lazy Jay)” – Azealia Banks

7. “Holocene” – Bon Iver

6. “Limit to Your Love (Feist cover)” – James Blake

5. “Someone Like You” – Adele

4. “I Can’t Make You Love Me/Nick of Time (Bonnie Raitt cover)” – Bon Iver

3. “We All Try” – Frank Ocean

2. “Serpents” – Sharon Van Etten

1. “Love on Top” – Beyoncé

All these shows were in New York City unless otherwise noted. Sadly, I’m sure that there were better shows performed in basements in the Midwest–also, I’m sure that Bon Iver/Fleet Foxes/Walkmen show in Arizona was to die for–but shout-out to these artists anyway, who–despite the fact that most didn’t really have to try, given the apathy of most NYC audiences–gave killer performances in 2011. Here’s to another great year of gut-wrenching, delirium-inducing, Squier-destroying live music. List, from 20 to 1, after the jump!

Archipel-a-gogo!’s Top 20 Live Shows of 2011:

20. Deer Tick @ Webster Hall, November 20
19. Fleet Foxes @ United Palace Theatre, May 18
18. Wanda Jackson @ Newport Folk Festival (Newport, RI), July 31
17. Mavis Staples @ Newport Folk Festival (Newport, RI), July 30
16. Bass Drum of Death @ Mercury Lounge, June 24
15. The Head and the Heart @ Antone’s (Austin, TX), September 17
14. Telekinesis!, the Love Language @ Mercury Lounge, March 9
13. Joy Formidable @ Webster Hall, April 29
12. Bright Light Social Hour @ Mercury Lounge, May 25
11. Arcade Fire @ Coachella (Indio, CA), April 16
10. The National w/ Justin Vernon @ Coachella (Indio, CA), April 16
9. Middle Brother @ Music Hall of Williamsburg, March 5
8. The National, Sharon Van Etten @ the Beacon Theatre, December 13
7. Heavy Cream, Hard Nips, Shonen Knife @ Bell House, November 18
6. Rye Rye @ Brooklyn Bowl, June 17
5. Deer Tick as Deervana @ Brooklyn Bowl, June 19
4. Frank Ocean @ Bowery Ballroom, November 28
3. Alabama Shakes @ Brooklyn Bowl, December 8
2. Bon Iver, The Rosebuds @ Prospect Park, August 10
1. Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears, Those Darlins @ Bowery Ballroom, March 26

Being a music writer seriously undermines my principles sometimes. I told my readers last year that lists were stupid so I wasn’t going to rank anything. Instead, I threw a bunch of musical things I had loved that year into a legible format and wiped my hands of 2010.

This year, however, after nearly 12 months of brain-melting attention paid to the monster that is the music industry, my tune has (unfortunately) changed. I have become a monster. Apologies to anyone offended (as I am).

However, the times, they do a-change, and with that quick little number I like to call a “poor transition/clichéd reference,” I give you the first installment (that’s right! I said “first.” That means there are MANY lists. I sure do indulge!) of Archipel-a-gogo!’s 2011 in Music Lists. Listings after the jump!

Archipel-a-gogo!’s Top 10 Music Videos 0f 2011:

The following is a playlist countdown of my 10 favorite/most memorable videos of the year. Below it is a list of the videos–since god knows you are too impatient to watch all of them. (I recommend it, though.)

Also, this ranking is the (only) one for which I simply picked the first 10 releases off the top of my head. If I can remember the video that vividly, you’re in.

10. St. Vincent – “Cruel”
9. Mac Miller – “Knock Knock”
8. Bon Iver – “Calgary”
7. tUnE-yArDs – “Bizness”
6. Tyler, the Creator – “Yonkers”
5. The Black Keys – “Lonely Boy”
4. The New Pornographers – “Moves”
3. Fleet Foxes – “A Shrine/An Argument”
2. Azealia Banks – “212, Ft. Lazy Jay”
1. Beyoncé – “Countdown”

Archipel-a-gogo!’s 10 Loved-in-2011, Pre-2011 Releases (UNRANKED):

Just because we were living 2011 doesn’t mean our lives were dictated by its hottest new releases–well not totally dictated, anyway. And since some of my favorite releases this year had nothing to do with this year except for my unearthing of (or indoctrination with) them, I decided there should be a list just for them–totally un-ranked, so they know they’re all loved, no matter what.

Danny – Heavy Cream
This is that little Nashville lady punk band you’ve never heard of until you stumble across a Myspace Music page and go, “OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER” and then you realize they are another Infinity Cat band (see: JEFF the Brotherhood) and you go see them three separate times and then finally find out they are releasing another album in 2012. Joy.

Back to Black – Amy Winehouse
I’d never listened much to Winehouse before this summer. I’m telling the gods’ honest truth, though, that I had this record on repeat the week leading up to her death. Infer whatever you will.

Etta James: Her Best (The Chess 50th Anniversary Collection) – Etta James
Another lady whose songs were repeated a ludicrous number of times prior to the announcement of her leukemia’s fatality. WHY ARE ALL THE VOICES I LOVE DYING AND IS IT MY FAULT???????

Good Things – Aloe Blacc
Ever find one of those songs that mysteriously got lumped into your iPhone sync playlist that’s just so goddamned good, but where did it come from slash I have to listen to this 100 times on repeat now?! Your answer: probably Aloe Blacc’s retro-soul 2010 full-length. Apparently there won’t be another record for awhile–just a stateside rerelease (I guess the original release was aimed at European markets primarily), but I’ll be damned if I’m not at THAT concert swooning my tuchus off.

Self Record – Justin Vernon
My fangirlness needs no further explanation. Rest assured, this man is on every one of my lists this year. I’m just SO HAPPY FOR HIM, guys.

War Elephant – Deer Tick
I hate to say it, but as obsessed as I am with this band, I compare everything they release, side-project or otherwise, to this record. Got me through some dim times in early 2011. Thanks a mill’, Johnny.

Real Life Color – Magic Man
These guys–friends of friends from my Boston years–need to be signed immediately. If you’re reading this and you are in A&R, you need to be listening to this insanely well-planned/well-executed record on Bandcamp, like, five minutes ago. They’re currently prepping another album for next year, so you might want to step on it. If you’re not in A&R, feast your ears on Real Life Color anyway and experience the pure elation that is your favorite, future “I knew them when” band.

Moth/Wolf Cub – Burial/Four Tet
I’m not this kind of person–or at least I thought I wasn’t. I blame the subway. But holy gawddam. I guess I get it now. (Also, further proof I am turning into a monster–see above.)

In Utero – Nirvana
I know what you’re thinking by now, which is probably some iteration of, “Oh, geez, of course you’d pick In Utero in the 20th anniversary year of Nevermind.” Yeah, well, there’s only so much “Smells Like Teen Spirit” a girl can take after being aurally bludgeoned with those chord progressions in junior high while your kid brother learns how to play his electric guitar. It’s a formative, scarring period.

“I Luv U,” off Boy in Da Corner – Dizzee Rascal
I suppose I should mention that this guy right here has been having a field day infiltrating my music tastes over the past few months. I am pretty sure this song is where it started. First, it’s just a liiiiittle bit of adorably accented British rappers. Next thing you know, you’re having dreams about hanging out with/being wooed by Lil Wayne, who in dream-land is actually a really sweet and misunderstood man.

…..Yeah, I don’t know either.

(I still hate Lil Wayne, for the record.)

Listed in order of their publication dates, the following stories are ones I read this week that are totally worth perusing. Disclaimer: some are the ones I wrote for Billboard.biz. Ye have been warned.

1. “On February 7, singer/songwriter Sharon Van Etten follows up last year’s Epic with a new album, Tramp, on Jagjaguwar. The album was recorded with the National’s Aaron Dessner in his studio; Aaron’s brother Bryce, Beirut’s Zach Condon, Julianna Barwick, Wye Oak’s Jenn Wasner, the Walkmen’s Matt Barrick, and Doveman’s Thomas Bartlett contributed to the record as well.” –Sharon Van Etten: “Serpents,” from her forthcoming (devastating) album, Tramp, Pitchfork.com, 27 November 2011.
2. “Director says he gave up on blockbusters after watching ‘Transformers: Dark Of The Moon.’” –From Terry Gilliam Slams Hollywood, no byline, NME.com, 29 November 2011. (Best Dek Award)
   
3. “No man, I mean, SCREAMING. Like, it wasn’t sex screams, it was some unholy, horrible screaming, like she was being murdered or something. And I guess we all thought, ‘Okay, hey, maybe that’s just her style,’ or whatever, because what else are you gonna think? But the sound of it was kind of alarming. I don’t know what it was, because she wasn’t saying any words. But she was just screaming her head off like she was being stabbed in the face, and we didn’t hear the bed rattling anymore, and Brad wasn’t grunting anymore.” –The Cavaliers, by Jason Lipshutz, The Underwater Minefield, 29 November 2011.
4. “It’s not how many records you sell; it’s who you connect with.” –Glassnote’s Daniel Glass on Mumford & Sons Grammy Noms, Indie Success and Getting Props From Drake, by Devon Maloney, 1 December 2011.
5. “To be honest, and I mean no disrespect–it has nothing to do with it. [Major distribution] had no influence on where he’s gotten or his fans at all. His success has been completely due to the leveling of distribution with the Internet.” –Skrillex Manager: Major Distribution Had ‘No Influence’ On Grammy Success, by Devon Maloney, 1 December 2011.
6. “In our year-and-a-half on the information highway, we had the good fortune of witnessing what was at once a very prolific time, a very confusing time, and a very exciting time in underground music. Instead of quoting ourselves, we combed through the 100 features and profiles we’ve published to bring you some reflections from the folks who inspire us.” –Words for the Road, Altered Zones, By Ric Leichtung and Emilie Friedlander, 2 December 2011. (Best Post-Mortem Post) Also see: Altered Zones, DIY/Indie Blog Collective, Shutters After 16 Months, by Devon Maloney, Billboard.biz, 30 November 2011.
   
7. “And who is that award given by? It’s like they think it’s literally handed down by the musical-history gods. And I don’t know who the voters are. Like, I have a friend who’s a voter who was like, ‘I had to be a voter because I don’t trust the other voters.’ And I was like, ‘Me either!’” –From The Bon Iver Grammy Quandary, by Jon Caramanica, NY Times‘ 6th Floor blog, 2 December 2011.
8. “I just have to assume Glover has completely ignored the success of Lil B, Main Attrakionz, Curren$y, Kendrick Lamar, Odd Future, Danny Brown, and especially Das Racist when he meekly moans, ‘Is there room in the game for a lame that rhymes/ And wears short shorts and tells jokes sometimes?’” –Childish Gambino, Camp, by Ian Cohen, Pitchfork.com review, 2 December 2011.

Two weeks ago, I had my second cover story come out! The best part about it was that, a week later, the subject, Pittsburgh up-and-coming rapper Mac Miller, made indie history by debuting at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 with 144,000 records sold–more than any other independently distributed artist since 1995 (that was Tha Dogg Pound’s Dogg Food). Translation: I got to write a story that turned out to be for a reason. Rejoice!

Anyway, there were a bunch of tidbits that didn’t make it into the article, but I want to share them. So, kiddos, for starters, check this out:

This is a piece I wrote and read aloud for Caryn Rose’s New York book launch party for her novel, B-Sides and Broken Hearts. It was last night at the Soft Spot in Williamsburg. The piece makes more sense read aloud, but…well, here you have it.

The trouble with everything I’ve ever written about music is that I was awfully young when I wrote it.

One time in college, I wrote a disappointed open letter to Nick Thorburn, the frontman of the Unicorns, berating him for being such a sourpuss on stage. Another time, I wrote an altogether-too-earnest post that panned Neko Case’s Middle Cyclone because not only was she bad for feminism but she said in an interview once that when she wrote that “This Tornado Loves You,” she meant a literal tornado. And I can’t even count the number of times I’ve boldly claimed, “Andrew McMahon is a musical genius who will save the world.” I mean, with lyrics like “I don’t care if you dye your hair/you’ll always be a little redhead bitch,” can you blame me?

Going back and reading this shit is entertaining, yet also, for someone who gets paid to write now, kind of heinous. So when asked to read my own writing for the first time, out loud, to a group of kind, unsuspecting music folks. . . the horror.

So I dug through everything. And by everything, I mean everything. That includes not one, but TWO old Xanga blogs. Over the past few days, I’ve gone back and reread literally everything I’ve written since I was 16 years old. Anyone who ever kept a Livejournal knows how traumatic this can get.

Well, it turns out, the most entertaining things I’ve ever written about music were 140 characters or less.

But then I realized how easy that was for me, to search through my current blog, to sift through posts on devonmaloney.com and xanga.com/anotherdayanotherdestiny. It was all right there, in plain sight, because I am, like it or not, a member of the first digital overshare generation.

How many times in the past few months someone has said to me, “Oh god, you were how old when Nevermind came out??” (I was 2.) I interviewed Debbie Harry on the phone today, one of my first honest-to-god rockstar interviews. I felt bad for a few minutes about getting a fact wrong, but then I had to remind myself that I wasn’t alive back then.

As so many of my coworkers like reminding me, I am a baby. But for a gal who grew up in Los Angeles, where your high school band can play once-legendary rock clubs if it forks over 400 bucks; for a gal who listened to nothing but Bright Eyes and Warped Tour bands in high school; for a gal whose first concert was Lit and American Hi-Fi; I think I’m doing an okay job at playing catch-up. All I have to say to my ‘elders’ is, you are SO lucky your teenage diaries aren’t Googlable.

How I managed to fool someone into thinking I was a seasoned music writer, I’ll never really understand. But in my short time in this crazy, fucked up little world of New York music journalists, where posting words on a website means you get to do things like this, where people are standing around listening to this dribble, where OH MY GOD EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE, I’ve learned roughly 3.4 billion new things. For example, “There’s no greater comedy and no greater tragedy in the first world than a shredding punk band playing to a crowd of 10 awkward hipsters.” And “When you’re a journalist covering a music festival, it quickly becomes less a festival, more a party with a few hundred of your closest hey-I-sort-of-recognize-you-from-somethings.” They are lessons that will, I pray, ensure I never write a blog about how great Passion Pit is ever again. Lessons like, “Hey, Devon, if you tweet all your thoughts away the second you have them, you will have NO MATERIAL WHEN YOU’RE INVITED TO READ AT A BOOK LAUNCH PARTY.”

As a result, at least 4 of the things I’ve mentioned in this piece have been previously tweeted. I wasn’t kidding earlier about the emotional investment in Twitter. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Nevertheless, I’m getting older. I know this for sure, because the other day, I realized that for about a year, I’ve been under the impression that Selena Gomez was Demi Lovato. Maybe in ten years, I’ll be tutting around Google+ or whatever with all my 30-something friends about my new 22-year-old editorial assistant who has vaguely heard of Something Corporate as “that band the guy from Jack’s Mannequin used to be in.” And we’ll gasp. Oh, we’ll swoon.

That same dude from the Unicorns went on to write a song with his next band, Islands, called “Kids Don’t Know Shit.” That’s only partly true, Nick, so quit being so fucking negative all the time.

If I don’t come back alive, you’ll know I died blissfully.

Anyway, I finally finally finally managed to make it out to see this insanely fun band that, if you’ve been around me at all in the past few months, I can’t seem to stop hyping (with reason): Heavy Cream. The Nashville-based trio (with touring bassist Seth Sutton), who played Mercury Lounge on Tuesday and the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn Wednesday, are some of the most badass chicks I’ve seen/heard lately. Tiffany (drums) is hard NOT to watch, even with Jessica (vocals) going completely ballistic on-stage. Needless to say, it was definitely worth the wait. I mean, I even bought a t-shirt. Their debut record, Danny, is out on Infinity Cat (god love this label) now. It’s a 20-minute headbang. CHECK IT OUT.

Heavy Cream – Watusi from devon maloney on Vimeo.

To go along with this garage-punk kick I’ve been on with Heavy Cream, I also made you all a mix! You can get ‘Gryme Disease’ on Spotify, OR via this link (the tracks here may require iTunes Store authorization. I’m not positive. In that case, tough cookies–buy ‘em yourself). The track listing:

Hey y’all, I’ve been doing some fiction writing over at this flash-fiction blog Dan Rys and I founded called Underwater Minefield. Essentially, how it works is that we choose a theme once a week (or thereabouts) and write as many short stories–usually under 500 words but sometimes we cheat–as we like that associate in some way with the theme. Dan’s been holding down the fort for the most part, but my measly 3 posts (thus far) can be found here.

Also, if you’re interested in contributing, let us know! We take submissions!

By the way, I forgot to mention – I recently wrote my first-ever cover story, for Billboard’s “Independents Day” issue, on the Head and the Heart. Check out this puppy here.

I spent close to 4 hours waiting to make eye contact with Tina Fey. I stood obediently back in the Math and Science aisle of the fourth floor of the Union Square Barnes and Noble, able to see naught but a tiny ant, dressed in a very stylish puff-sleeved blouse and slacks, hair sleek and shiny, as far as I could tell from miles away, nearly swallowed up amidst a sea of well-groomed college biddies, their lispy fashionista gay boyfriends, and dweeby one-day-I-will-be-the-next-Tina girls with homemade t-shirts that desperately screamed “I WANT TO GO TO THERE” across the chest.

Yes, I spent close to 4 hours. After Tina spent 20 minutes or so answering questions asked by an editor from the New Yorker (interesting choice), everyone began to queue up, the rabble in the standing-room only section (aka in the aisles, squashed against copies of the Origin of Species and Algebra for Dummies) elbowing and shouldering each other to get closer to the front of the line. By this time everyone is overheated and ready to faint, clutching our copies of BOSSYPANTS like they were our copy of the key to the door of Heaven (which, frankly, they could have been…no one was allowed in without purchasing the book downstairs).

After lots of cattle-prodding (the staff of Barnes and Noble are a collective bag of dicks) and attendee-employee stand-offs (half-expected someone to start shouting “HELL NO, WE WON’T GO” when the employees tried to make people merging into the front of the line move to the back), we finally stood in line, patiently waiting for our special lady to put her Sharpie to the title page of our books. As the line moved forward, we filed into the seats that were emptied by the folks who went before us (they had most likely gotten there three to four hours in advance–too much), and sat and stared at Tina, writing (WITH HER LEFT HAND) her name over and over again, as if once again in third grade penmanship class. Judah Friedlander (wearing a blue windbreaker jumpsuit and matching American flag trucker hat and American flag sunglasses) and the guy who plays Grizz showed up and strutted around to appease those waiting patiently in line.

All the while, I desperately clawed at ideas, clever things I might say to the woman who I so desperately wanted to befriend/wear around like a Tina coat. I would only have 5 to 7 seconds, tops, and it would have to be good. I thought of saying, “How do you feel about the whole Internet always attacking the way you’ve been ‘beautified’ by the media?” but then that would be too long and I might be arrested and hauled away screaming by the security guards of Barnes and Noble. I thought of saying, “Thank you for making it funny to be yourself,” but I worried about drooling and frothing at the mouth while doing so. I thought of simply making eye contact and nodding knowingly, quite sure she’d understand.

But as I stepped closer and closer in line, my ideas turned stale and my heart was broken. I watched as she put pen to book page over and over again, barely having time to smile at the fan whose book she had in her hands. I thought, “This must be exhausting–writing your name several hundred times? For people who drool over being within 3 feet of you?” So as I mounted the stairs (the guard stopped me when I took out my phone camera, wanting to take a picture, barking that there were no pictures allowed. BUMMER), I opened my book to the proper page. I stepped up to Tina’s desk, and I handed it off to one of her about six “assistants,” who slid it down the row.

It was my turn.

I slid along the table until I was face-to-face with…the top of our lady’s head, bent over my book. Out of nowhere, I sputtered, “Man, do you have to do wind sprints or something to prepare for this?!”

“Ha! I WISH this was a cardio activity,” came the response.

Tina made a joke. To me. To my prompt. To ONLY ME.

I was in a haze of bliss.

THE END.